


A father's duty.

by HP_of_the_North



Series: Levi and his kids. [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Because it's beautiful, Depression, Don't do it, Emotions, Found Family, Gen, I don't know what to tell ya man, Levi and Hange as pseudo parents for the 104th cadets, Levi is such a dad, Memories, So many emotions, Spoilers, do not read if you're not caught up in the Manga, featuring the 5 times trope thing, i warned you, if you ignore these tags, seriously, so many spoilers, some theories, there's a couple words in Japanese too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28872684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HP_of_the_North/pseuds/HP_of_the_North
Summary: And now, here he was. Getting ready to kill one of his children to save the rest. What sort of person did that make him? A monster. Someone once said that only someone who's ready to sacrifice everything even stands a chance at saving humanity. But was he that person?
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Eren Yeager, Levi Ackerman & the 104th, Levi/Hange (sorta ambiguous)
Series: Levi and his kids. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2174079
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	A father's duty.

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS! SPOILERS! OH, SO MANY SPOILERS! TURN AWAY IF YOU'RE NOT CAUGHT UP! SPOILERS!

Levi stared around him as his team fought for their lives, pouring every ounce of effort that they had left into taking down all of the titans Eren was endlessly sending their way. Levi stared around at his children as they screamed and slashed and cried and sobbed for each other. Levi stared around at his brats as they flicker in between when they were young and now. Connie and his ridiculous pranks he'd pull at HQ when Hange and he had been away for some meeting or the other. The ghost of one of his sister's, in all but name, glided along beside him, laughing as she carried burlaps of stolen goods she'd always share with them. Jean flew around him and the girl on the flying titan, slicing through napes and hardly glancing at the blood, as quick as he was killing them was as quick as it evaporated. Armin was beside him, barely a wisp in the night air, laughing at some ridiculous joke he'd said when they were so much younger and their eyes were still innocent. Mikasa was almost covered with titans. His heart stuttered painfully as Eren appeared. Though, he was never one form, he flickered in between his titan and himself. But he was smiling and Mikasa's hair was longer and she smiled still.

His team, his cadets, his recruits, his brats, his kids. No. He thought to himself dully as he flew from the flying titan's back, heading for his head where he hoped he was still in there somewhere. Their kids. His and Hange's. Levi hadn't cried, he doesn't think he's ever cried and if he had it'd been when he was just an infant. But he was crying now. They would be so proud of them. He mused as he landed on Eren's head. Soaked in blood. Hange, with their long brown hair, huge eyes and their stupid glasses that they never took off. Hange, who had smiled when they saw their kids first step into the water, who had gotten into a huge water fight with them that he and Eren had sat out off. The huge messes he'd had to clean after and all the sand they dragged in. The Hange who was dead now.

"Eren." he said. He could physically feel the titan stiffen, listening to him with almost religious vigor. He supposed that beating had stayed with him after all. Or maybe it was he's "You're in such deep shit." voice that'd really made him pause. "Don't act like a brat. I know you can hear me."

His head turned itself upside down to see him. It might've phased him had he been a lesser man.

"Aren't you wondering where Hange is?" he asked. Kneeling down to see him better. "I'm sure you remember how much they adored you, right? How they took care of you after that day in the Martial Court. You remember how they wiped away your scratches? How they made you tea to dull the pain? You and them were always so close. I find it astounding how you didn't even ask where they were. Which means, either you know what happened or you don't want to know. Which is it? Don't pretend to be mute either. You've forgotten, brat, I know all your tricks."

"Hange?" he slowly asked, his voice was the sound of burning bones and so painfully slow.

"Yes. When you set off the rumbling, it almost caught up with us, would've gotten onto that fucking flying boat too if Hange hadn't stayed behind. You killed them, Eren." he said. Eren's eyes flickered for a moment, alight with a pain he knew too well, the pain of losing a parent. The third one he lost. And the second he indirectly caused.

He flicked his eyes away but he wasn't about to let him get away with that. He snapped his fingers in his gigantic ears. Growling for his attention. Years of military training snapped him back towards him.

" _Oy,_ brat. I'm talking to you. I taught you better than that. Do you have any idea what you've done?" he asked. His voice low. "You've killed so many people, women, children, men, torn families apart. Left children orphans, parents without children and partners without partners. I thought you had a great plan, remember? You were gonna save the Eldians. I hadn't realized genocide was on the table. I hadn't realized that you planned on becoming the thing you hated most. Someone who takes freedom away. A mindless titan whose only goal is to hurt and destroy. Was it worth it? The freedom to tear us apart? The freedom to kill us? Tell me, brat, was it worth it?"

Eren seemed to physically swallow something though how he managed to do it he'd never know. His eyes were clouded over with salt. Making everything grey and lifeless but it was already that way. His family had been the only ones to make it all seem a little brighter. And now, here he was. Getting ready to kill one of his children to save the rest. What sort of person did that make him? A monster. Someone once said that only someone who's ready to sacrifice everything even stands a chance at saving humanity. But was he that person?

"Not... Mean... I... Sorry. Hange." he whispered. He was close to tears, he's heard that tone before. Many times.

"I didn't ask if you meant it. I asked if it was worth it. Was it?" he waited a few seconds before he growled again. Snapping his fingers again. " _Oy_ , brat. Was it worth it?"

Eren turned his eyes up to him and he saw all he needed. He didn't want to save the Eldians. He wanted to die. But he wanted it to mean something. There was nothing in those eyes. No light just... Darkness. He sighed. Sitting down on his bony shoulder and absent-mindedly pulling his hands through his hair.

"You want to die? I'm afraid you'll have to get in line. I'm sure a lot of people want to kill you at this point, you're a slave to your own memories. I wonder what would happen if you'd never gotten them in the first place? If you'd never touched Historia's hand that faithful day? You think yourself a monster, hm?"

Eren kept his gaze downward, the titans froze, waiting for their commands.

"This world is cruel, you'll never be someone unless you're a monster. You'll never get far in this shitty little world without becoming the thing you loath most. I learned that lesson a long time ago."

Kenny left a lot to be desired in a parent but he'd done all he could. He had taught him to survive. How to kill, how to say hello and how to make friends. But he had left out all the good the world still had.

"But something I learned far more recently than I should've. Yes. This world is cruel. It's ruthless, it's bloody, it's gorey but. And you gotta remember your buts, brat. You'll never get anywhere in life if you don't. This world is also beautiful. Take a forest for example. In a forest you hear the swish of leaves, the calls of deer, the twittering of birds and you can see the sunlight as it finds its way through the branches. Making a world that, even for a moment, is all your own. But in the forest there's bears. Traps, bees and wasps. All waiting to sting the ever loving shit out of you. And sometimes. Those bad things can be off putting, even a little horrifying. But it doesn't make the rest of the forest any less beautiful, does it?"

Hange would be proud of him. How wonderful, Hange died and what does anyone have to show for it? Only his slight boost in philosophy. Well, it certainly seemed to be working. Eren had stopped the titans completely now.

"I was like that too." he admitted. "After Erwin and Hange... Nothing mattered anymore. It all seemed pointless, as if the world had stopped spinning. It was grey, meaningless. As though I was being pulled along by the current. Meandering my way through this. I know what it feels like to think you've got no one left. To feel like a monster in your own skin. Everyone feels that way. One way or another. Everyone's always had that moment where it seems like their world's ended."

Mikasa, Jean, Connie and the Leonhart girl were looking at him, awaiting his orders. Maybe he could talk him down? Could get him to surrender? Sure, he'll be in prison for the rest of his life but he'll live and that's all he's wanted since they became more than his team, since he began their training, since he instructed Connie to sharpen his skills, Mikasa to let herself be young every once and a while, Armin to be more confident in himself. Sasha to be less greedy, Eren to be more calm and strategic. And Jean to be cool headed. Since the day he stopped seeing them as just his trainees. Since the day he knew he'd give his life for them if he needed. He wanted them to live. Does that make him so wrong?

"But you were never alone. We would've helped you and everything, all this, could've been avoided. We would've helped you. We could've found another way. I'm tired, brat." he admitted. Letting his shoulders drop. "So tired of war. So tired of losing everyone. I just want to go home at this point. Don't you want to go home too?"

"I... Have... I... Must."

"No! You don't have to do anything! You chose this path. You chose the path of bloodshed and horror. How could you do that? Tell me, brat, what did they do to deserve it? What did your parent do to deserve to die?"

"Hange... Never... Meant... For... Hange."

"The truth is, you're not doing this because you have to. You're doing this because you've given up." he squashed his eye to stop his tears. "After everything we've done, everything we survived. You're gonna let those insects get the best of you?"

"Tired... Dad... Tired."

He remembered the first time one of his squad slipped up and called him dad, each moment was different and yet the same. And each time they came to him and that slip happened. He always expected himself to be annoyed by it. To be angry. But he never was. In fact, he had liked it when they called him dad. He supposed that's one more sin to add to the tally.

_

Levi glared at Sasha as she snuck out of the designated Quarentine zone. Her and his other kids had gotten a really bad bout of the flu. Him and Hange couldn't let them wonder around the camp like that, all snotty nosed and miserable. Not when there was so few left.

"Sasha!" he barked.

The optimistic girl snapped to attention and turned back to him with wide eyes as if she didn't know who he was. Now that he was thinking about it, her eyes looked glazed over. As if she'd been drinking or taken something that she definitely shouldn't have.

"I'm sorry sir! I have no idea where I am! I gotta get home! It's huntin' season! My father will be looking for me."

He sighed, wondering about what exactly Hange had given his kids for Sasha of all people to be this out of it.

"My first father that is. I don't know where my second is. I think I lost him." she said. Her eyes pooling up with tears. "Maybe I did something wrong? I don't know. Why would they leave me here? Doesn't Levi _heicho_ know that Eren isn't the only one that needs him?"

Levi blinked at her. His mind reeling from what she just dropped on him.

"I was running from a titan." she whispered. Flexing an imaginary bow but her tears had yet to stop. "It almost got me too."

"Sasha." he said. Shaking her shoulders slightly. "It's Levi, you're sick. Remember? Come on."

Sasha leaned against him, practically balancing all her weight on him. Drooling sleepily on his shoulder to his annoyance but he decided to leave it for now. Or maybe never mention it at all, yeah, that sounded better. Once she was under her covers he made to leave when she grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

"Don't leave me papa." she whispered. He froze as he turned back to her. Not knowing what he could say to that. "Please don't leave, what if the titan comes back?"

Levi slowly sat down and dabbed her sweaty forehead, delirious, he believed Hange said. Kenny would be upset at how soft his heart had gotten. But what could he say? He may have been raised by his uncle (but really he was his father even if neither Ackerman would ever admit it out loud. Kenny for fear and Levi for pride.) but his mother still wove her gentle influence into him too.

"He won't. I won't let him." he assured her gently.

"Where's mama? Is she coming too? I don't want the titan to come for you." she said.

"No titan's getting their hands on him, sweetheart." Hange said suddenly, how long had they been there? Long enough, he supposed. They gave him a slight grin. "In fact, I'd say they'd be lucky to keep their hands before he'd let them hurt you."

"Mama." she whispered. Dozing in and out of sleep. "Sleepy."

"I know. Close your eyes, we'll be right here when you wake up."

_

Was that really only just under a year ago? It feels so much longer now.

_

" _Heicho!_ " Connie yelled.

Levi sighed, placing down his teacup as he turned his attention on him and Jean as they come bursting inside his office of a sort. They were both angry but it didn't seem serious.

"What?" he asked. His eyes narrowed at them dangerously.

"Do you think I'm useless too?" he asked.

Levi blinked at him, utterly shocked and more than a little disturbed. Where the fuck had that come from?

"What?"

Connie deflated as if he'd just confirmed all his darkest fears.

"Do you think I'm useless too? Everyone says that I must've gotten into your squad because of how few soldiers were left in the Scouts." he admitted. Looking uncomfortably close to tears.

He turned his eyes on Jean and he nodded. Sliding his eyes away from his angry stare.

"And Jean and the others didn't exactly say any different. So is it true? Did you pick me because I was convenient? Or because I was worth something?"

Levi stood up and walked towards his squad members.

"I did pick you because it was convenient." he said. But before he could break down he forged on. "But I also picked you because you had potential. Your agility with your ODM gear is absolute. You make it seem effortless and artistic. I also chose you, because, like Armin, you're kind and you have a strange sense of humor that often brightens your friends' days. You're also exceptional when it comes to teaming up with your friends. Yes, your other friends are stronger than you are and that makes you different. The difference between you and the rest of your team is simple. You're all completely different people, with different strengths and talents. Where you excel in agility. Eren excels in hand-to-hand combat. Where you're creative in your maneuvers. Armin sticks to the rules. Where you're funny, Jean's sarcastic. Where you're quick, Mikasa is strong. Where you're stationary in your movements. Sasha is bouncing from place to place. Where you fail, others excel, where you excel others fail. But that makes you no less important. Every single one of your skills is valued. From Jean's drawing skills to Mikasa's speed. I value them all. And you should too."

Connie beamed at him before he nodded.

"Really, dad?" Connie asked. Jean rose an eyebrow but when he didn't react neither did he.

"I don't lie to you, I never have." he said.

" _Arigato nemesen, heicho!_ " he said, turning around and yelping when he bumped into Hange. " _Gomenasai_ mom!"

"What was that all about?" Hange asked as Jean and Connie rush away.

"Just kid stuff."

_

When they had been so very innocent.

_

"Jean? The hell's going on with you? You could fry an egg on your face." he said. Frowning at him.

" _Gomenasai, heicho._ I just had a weird dream is all." he said.

Levi rose an eyebrow, what sort of dream got a reaction like that, he wants to know. Then his mind catches up and suddenly he's not in such a hurry to find out.

"I'm gonna regret this. Who was it about?" he asked. Ready for the awkwardness to come.

"It was about us." he said. Furrowing his brows in thought. _Nani?_ He's never heard of someone having a wet dream about an orgy. "But we were different, happy, we were back home and all this horror was over. Eren and Mikasa were even together in it, finally." he said, laughing slightly.

"Sounds like a good dream, why are you so embarrassed by it?"

"Well... You and Hange-san were together. And... We looked like a family, just a regular old family, guess it's embarrassing... Because I wanted it. I wanted us to be a family. _Gomenasai, heicho._ It's just a stupid dream. I shouldn't be bothering you." he said, shaking his head.

"It's not stupid." he said. "I have dreams like that too. Sometimes I see you all on the beach, in the water. Practically drowning each other but you're laughing, you're happy. You're smiling and the birds sing. The wind tastes sweet. Almost like hope. Other times, I see you all in bed. Bone tired but your shoulders are finally light. The burdan on your shoulders is so much lighter. I know it's selfish. But that's all I want for you all. I just want you to sleep. And what do you mean, you wish we were family? We already are."

Jean smiled gently.

" _Arigato,_ dad."

"Aren't you on clean up duty Jean?" Hange asked, frowning.

" _Hai_ I'll go now, mom."

_

That was a bare few months ago, where had all the time gone?

_

"What are you reading, Armin?" Levi asked. Glancing over the book in his hands.

"A book about these strange people under the sea with fish tails for legs." Armin said. Staring at the book in amazement.

Levi rose an eyebrow and nodded at him in thought as he sipped his tea.

" _Heicho_... Do you wish you'd made a different choice? Considering everything that's happened?" he asked.

"Hm. Why ask?"

"We're about to walk into the biggest fight of our lives and... And Erwin would've been better at this. At everything." he mumbled. "Look at me. I'm a child reading a book about fairytales. How am I ever suppose to be Erwin?"

Levi hated how he always doubted himself, always thought lesser of himself. He **hated** it.

"There's a simple answer to your question Armin. You'll never be Erwin." he nodded sadly, "but you'll always be Armin. You can't do things the way Erwin use to but you can do them your way. And sometimes, those ways are often better than others. Erwin's dead, he's been dead for four years and never once have I regretted my choice."

Armin stared at him in shock before he nodded. Looking significantly less haunted than before.

"You'll do humanity proud. Your friends' proud and me proud. I know you will."

"Thanks dad."

_

Armim, where is he? Did they find him yet?

_

Mikasa clutched her red scarf closer to her mouth, not really looking at anyone. Hange and he glanced at each other. Not sure what to say.

"I told him he was family. I should've said something different." she mumbled.

"Why didn't you?" Levi asked. Tilting his head to the side.

"I was scared, I guess." she admitted.

"Why? He was the one who asked you, right?" Hange said.

"I know that. I should've said I loved him. I'm a coward."

"No doubt about that but what's done is done. You can tell him everything when you see him again." Levi assured her, squeezing her hand.

"Do you think he'll still feel the same way?"

"Well, we'll know when we get there." he said.

"Okay, dad." she said, nodding. "I beleive you and mom."

_

And now this. His heart was already broken, did God want to punish him even more? For letting this get so far?

"I know you're tired. I'm tired too. But destroying the world isn't gonna make it better and neither will dying. You have so many people who still love you. We just wanna help you." he said. Everything was in these last few words. "Let us help you see the beauty the world still has left."

He had failed as a captain, failed as a friend and even worse than that, he failed as a father. How could he not see how much he'd been suffering? How could he not notice? Him of all people?

The blessed sound of bones falling apart and the disgusting sound of retching sounded out around them as two titans spew out a partially healed Zeke and a choking Armin. But before they could celebrate. Eren reached into the back of his neck and gave them one last horribly sad look.

" _Gomenasai._ "

Mikasa screamed as Eren pulled off his own head and had just enough brain power to rip a wriggling, centipede like creature from his neck and throwing it far away.

"NO!"

_

And so the story ended. With the death of a devil but also, the death of a friend, a brother, a best friend and a son.

**Author's Note:**

> Arigato nemesen = Thank you {super polite version}
> 
> Arigato = thanks {regular} 
> 
> Gomenasai = sorry
> 
> Heicho = captain 
> 
> Oy = hey
> 
> Nani = what? 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
